This is a good decision….right?

Why is it that we feel the need to justify ourselves, our lives, our choices to others? Why should we need to justify any of that to anyone but ourselves? Some of this need comes from the expectations and perimeters that others truly place into our lives. A lot of this need comes from within. There is often the perception that others will find our choices to be frivolous, irresponsible, selfish or  ill-conceived. Sometimes that is true and sometimes it is just fear within ourselves projected onto others. Why do we spend our money at the judgements of others? Why would we hinder our chances at happiness because of what others might think or say?

When entering into any choice you are making, you should never be considering other people’s views on this choice before your own. This is not to say that other people’s opinions and advice should not be considered or at times even followed. They may be in the right. But it is most important that you are starting with your opinion, what you want and what you need. The questions should always be related to your needs, your capabilities and work within your means. So you ask, will this improve my well-being and make me a happier, more well-balanced individual? Does this choice hurt anyone else? Can I afford to make this choice financially? Will this investment improve the quality of my life? Is now the right time in my life to pursue this choice?

Although many choices and options laid before us may be wonderful and fulfilling concepts, it does not always mean that now is the right time to pursue such things. We must learn patience and timing to get the most out of our lives. The idea could still happen and should never be abandoned but you must know when to commit to new changes and risks and when to bid your time and cultivate what you already have going on to be better prepared for this choice or challenge later down the road.

I base far too many of my personal choices, especially anything financially related, on the opinions and judgements of others. It creates stress and guilt and inner conflict that often is not even justified. There are reasons why these self-checks have come to be in place but it is time to do away with them and make decisions based solely on my own thoughts and feelings. I have learned enough things the hard way, that I should trust my own judgement in these matters and not look for approval or make lists of reasons it’s a good idea in case anyone asks. That is no way for anyone to live. I must trust in myself. Trust in my friends and family to support me in my decisions. I should not let fear, doubt, guilt and a need for approval stop me from doing what makes me healthy, happy and grow as an individual in every way possible.


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