Longing for change…

Rather than longing for a physical change of scene and a physical relocation, perhaps I need to focus this energy inward. Focus on making changes in myself and my attitude that allow me to find that sense of new territory and new experiences within the physical space that I must remain in at this time. By learning and reading about new ideologies and philosophies I can expand the sphere that is my world. By taking a more assertive and active role in getting myself out and doing the things that are here to be done I can fulfill the need I have for space and freedom. Not all journeys have to take you far from home to have made progress and travel a great distance.

I find during this time when all those I love are moving, and changing and taking charge of their lives and their futures, that I long also make this giant step forward.  I am so proud of their bravery, their strength of will and self and their battle to improve their lives and not give up or give in. But I know deep down, I am not there yet. I am not yet in a place to relocate so drastically as they are. But that doesn’t mean that I am left behind. I just have to keep striving to fill my sphere of life with rich, beautiful, insightful and inspiring things. To always keep learning, keep reading and writing, to keep creating even if I don’t have anyone to buy what I’m making right now. If I can’t travel yet then I should bring those places to me. Learn all about the culture, the religion, the food and recipes. If I can’t go to Italy or France, then learn Italian or French. There are so many ways to expand your life if you just take the time to expand your mind and your heart.

There will be no room to be jealous of my loved ones if I fill my life with all these positive things and continue to push myself, push my limits and never get stagnant. I have so much in my life to be thankful for, and living in my own place is an obtainable future. I know that in my heart. But there is no reason to waste the NOW waiting for the THEN to get here. Now is so much more important, never take a moment of it for granted.

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